Doing Gratitude--Listening For Needs

      There are certainly many ways to show our gratitude for friends and family:

•   thank you notes, letters and phone calls
•   sharing our love and talents
•   providing comfort during times of stress and illness
•   praying for them
•   and one of my favorites, listening for their needs.  

     This last expression of gratitude may be one of the most difficult, since it requires that we are really paying close attention to what is being said.  I am sometimes guilty of spending more time formulating a response than attentively listening. This can be a death knell to real communication, since often times needs are not openly and easily expressed.  Understanding them may be more a matter of our sensitive observation, and reading between the lines to identify the intent of what someone is saying.  So, really listening is essential if we are to truly understand the needs of others.

Really listening is an act of love and gratitude.

     Listening attentively and allowing others to fully speak their mind is an art.  More than that, it is an act of love and gratitude.  It says, "I appreciate our relationship so much that I am willing to listen to you until you are all talked out; to allow you to explore your emotions  until both you and I come to understand what it is you are feeling and needing."  Thus approached, listening becomes an expression of compassion, love, and for the listener, self-discipline; and who among us couldn't use more self-discipline?
      Hopefully, we all know someone who is a great listener, since listening is one of the most priceless gifts we can extend to another.  My mom was a wonderful listener.  As a  bride-to-be I remember sitting with her on the beach, asking a lot of questions about how to make a home, plan meals, and be financially responsible.  She was attentive to my questions and my enthusiasm, and as she answered thoughtfully, she made me feel like she had all the time in the world for me.
      I have a niece who seems to share that same talent.  Recently I was visiting with her and her dad.  I hardly remember expressing a particular need that I was concerned about,  but she heard.  A few days later I received a phone call from her offering a solution.  I was touched by her thoughtfulness.  Not only had she heard what I said, she heard the desire behind it.  Her gratitude for family, and her sense of compassion, caused her to really think about how she might be of help.  How grateful I am, not simply for her listening ears, but for her listening heart.  

     Talking is a big part of life, and we all find ourselves engaged in conversations.  Striving to really listen, and allowing others the privilege of fully speaking, is a wonderful art to cultivate.  It will strengthen our relationships, give us greater knowledge and understanding, and help us to form deep bonds of love and gratitude.   

     


TODAY'S  INSPIRED  QUOTATION:  "The first duty of love is to listen."   Paul Tillich



Photo Credit: Perry Photos

Doing Gratitude--Sharing the Abundance

     I just love this time of year!  The mornings are cool, the air is fresh, and the apples on my tree are ready to pick.  These are end of summer apples, and I grab one or two most mornings to add to my oatmeal and cinnamon.  What a spoiler to pick fruit from the yard.

     This morning I also gathered green beans, wax beans, peppers, and a few tomatoes.  In the distance I heard the noisy, riotous sound of wild geese making their way across the foot hills, headed for their winter retreat. A sure sign that colder weather is coming, like it or not!

     It's hard to believe, it's nearly the end of September with the daytime temperatures still in the 80's and the nights just pleasantly cool.  Makes me wish that winter would never come!  I know that sentiment isn't shared by the ski and snow boarding fans, but this time of year is a taste of heaven to me.

     One of my neighbors is still picking late season peaches, my daughter just put up pears, and now the apples are fast approaching their peak.  This is truly a season of harvest and plenty in this corner of the world. A great season for sharing my abundance with friends, and giving thanks for the magic of nature.

     I suppose if we were blessed with this bounty all year long we might begin to take it for granted.  God, in His wisdom, allows us to enjoy it but once a year.  Then we get to look forward to it for the next twelve months!  

     In some ways, this evidence of plenty is also evidence of just plain old-fashioned work.  Nature's magic aside, it requires time to tend and grow a garden. Then more time and effort to can, freeze and dry all the produce, and to make the jams, jellies and fruit leathers.  But that work turns into joy during the winter as we take a bottle of tomatoes or peaches from the pantry shelf.  Or when we grab a bag of spinach from the freezer, or spread sweet, fruity jam on bread.  As good as it all tastes in season, it tastes just as wonderful--maybe more--when snow flies.

     Don't know about you, but I'm counting my blessings as I gather up the last bits of evidence that I was attentive to my gardening.  Beautiful yellow squash, a handful of beans, a few cucumbers and tomatoes remind me that with my effort and nature's cooperation, there is so much to appreciate.

     Before too long the lawn will be white with snow.  The apple tree will stand dormant. The sounds of geese will be a distant memory, but spring will come again, then summer, then another glorious fall.   What abundant reasons for rejoicing in the knowledge that God's world is a world of order and renewal.  I rest, assured that in due time I will repeat the work of spring planting, summer weeding and watering, and autumn's joyful activity of sharing and putting away the fruits of my labors.

TODAY'S  AWESOME  BLESSING:  Sharing from my garden with a neighbor!  


Photo credits:  Apples, by azfotos.com
                       Pears, by freefoto.com
                       Basket of vegetables, by Richard Shipp 

Doing Gratitude--Say a Little Prayer

     In 1967 Dionne Warwick sang,  "The moment I wake up, before I put on my makeup, I say a little prayer for you." (lyrics by Burt Bacharach and Hal David).  When I think of all the ways there are to express our gratitude, praying for those we love strikes me as being one of the most important and powerful ways of showing our concern and appreciation for them.
     Because prayers do have the power to call down the influence and intervention of our Creator, they constitute, in my mind, a wonderful combined effort in behalf of those we care for--our energies, combined with God's unfailing wisdom and support, to heal, encourage, remind, or in any other way intercede to bless lives.

     There are several things I love about sincere prayer:

• it has a calming and settling affect on the emotions of the one who is praying.
• in some studies, it has been shown to be effective in helping others to heal, even when they are unaware of the prayer (http://www.healingtherapies.info/prayer_and_healing.htm.)
• prayer does, indeed, connect to a higher power that has the ability to intercede in our behalf, or in behalf of the one for whom we are praying.
•   prayer is an act of humility and obedience to sacred direction, "Ask, and it shall be given you."  
• we are praying to our Heavenly Father, who loves us and is concerned for us and for those we love.  We are His children, and He is our Father, and we can be assured that He is listening.  Because He wants only the best for us, He will answer our desires in the way that will be for our greatest good.

 
     In the book, The Help, by Kathryn Stockett, Aibileen, a courageous black maid, writes prayers asking for divine intervention in behalf of her friends.  Minny, another maid, says that Aibileen's prayers are powerful, and that many of their group have been blessed by her unique gift to have her prayers answered. No doubt, as Aibileen wrote her prayers she was focused on the needs of another, and attempted to express, in words that would reach the ears of God, her desire for her friends to receive needed blessings.
     Whether we write our prayers, or humbly kneel in prayer, or prostate ourselves in prayer, or join with a group of friends to pray, our prayers in behalf of others can create change.  Without question, prayer in behalf of others is an unselfish act of love, an expression of our gratitude for having them in our lives, and an outward display of our concern for their welfare.  Prayer does, indeed, have power!

TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:  Consider taking a few moments today to reflect on the needs of someone you love.  Write or say a prayer for that person, pouring out your desires to God in their behalf.

If You Thought Life Couldn't Get Worse....

Reminder:  If you've been keeping a Gratitude Journal now is a good time to update it.  Who blessed your life this week?  What events lifted your heart?  What did you see, hear or read that inspired you?  There are so many reasons to be grateful!   
          

     For sure, life can be pretty overwhelming sometimes, and it can be tempting to lose sight of all our reasons to be grateful.  However, sometimes, just a little glimpse of the difficulties faced by another can realign our thinking.  
    My brother-in-law sent the following photo essay.  It came at a moment when I thought that I was having a bad day.  Thanks, Rod, if I ever think life couldn't get worse, this gives me a chance to readjust my thinking, feel a little sympathy for others, and also realize how blessed I am.  Perhaps you, the reader, will feel the same.    

How's your day going?

  

 





So, Really, How is Your Day Going?

TODAY'S  AWESOME  BLESSING:    The Realization That Life Is, Actually,  Going Pretty Well!

The Beauty of the Outside World!

     Summer passed so quickly!  Here we are, easing into this transitional season--cool mornings, sunny afternoons, lovely evenings.  I was outside last night.  The air had a slight chill and the sky was clear.  The Big Dipper was easily visible, along with a thousand other stars, the kind of nighttime sky you love to sit and study for awhile.  Cassiopeia, Pisces,  the Great Square--unimaginably far away, yet right there, above me!  For me, there is nothing quite like a clear view of the stars to pique my wonder and amazement at God's vast and inspiring power. 

     I guess I picked up the habit of gazing from my mother.  She used to point things out and encourage me to really look at them.  So, even now, I gaze at everything:  tiny flowers emerging from the lawn in spring; the shape of leaves; the underside of a mushroom.  

     There is so much in the "outside" world that fascinates me, and brings questions to my mind.  How does that huge squash plant come from such a small, flat seed?  Why are strawberries red?  How do the birds know when its time to come north in spring, and when its time to fly south for winter?  What puts the pungent smell in the leathery skin of a hickory nut?  God has made such a wondrous world, and I am so excited to be surrounded by it, every day!

     As a child my mom ordered a set of books for us.  It was called The Book of  Knowledge.  It had a bunch of volumes and every one was a treasure.  Each contained history, poems, kid friendly projects, and a section of questions with answers--the kinds of questions, like the ones above, that every kid asks.
     I was so fortunate to have a mom who appreciated the curiosity of her children and encouraged them to explore their world.  In fact, it was she who first helped me to realize the value of looking up as she pointed out the beautiful Milky Way, making its long, sweeping path across the sky.  We lived in a rural part of Connecticut, and without the intrusion of city lights, the night sky was sparklingly clear and sharply visible.  To this day, I am a star gazer.

     Do you ever contemplate what a blessing it is to be curious, not just about the stars, but about everything?  To ask a question and seek out an answer?  To be free to explore the world?  To read a book, wander through a museum, hike a mountain trail just to see what's there?   Not everyone enjoys such freedom.  Not everyone can pretty much come and go as he pleases.  Not everyone is encouraged to look beneath the surface.  These are such amazing gifts!

     As the days cool, I find myself more and more outside, soaking in the wonder around me. Not long ago my grandson slept over.  Before going to bed we sat on the front porch.  I pointed out the Big Dipper.  He was enthralled and asked if we could look through the binoculars.  Of course!  Would I discourage such curiosity?  Like autumn,  childhood only lasts so long!  We won't be out here come winter, sitting in the snow and cold, so now is our moment.  What a wonderful time of year to enjoy the wonders of nature.  To encourage a new generation of seekers.  To pass along a heritage of curiosity and appreciation for the beauty God has provided in the "outside" world!

TODAY'S  AWESOME  BLESSING:   Having curious grandchildren to share my love of nature!

New Eyes For the Beautiful End to Summer

     On Saturday evening I sat on the garden swing surveying the back yard.  Friends sat next to me.  The sun was just setting and its brilliant rays warmed the evening air.  As we gently rocked back and forth there were generous compliments about the beauty of our back yard.  "It looks like it should be a painting," commented one friend.
     I'm so used to this scene. Everything looked familiar and unremarkable to me.  So, for a few moments I tried to see it through new eyes:  a wheel barrow and hoe leaning against the apple tree; green and red peppers, growing fat and full, nearly ready to be picked; tomatoes ripening; the herb bed filled with thyme, sage, rosemary and more;  grapevines trailing over the fence--planted in our neighbor's yard, a sweet gift spilling over into ours.  "Take whatever's on your side," they tell us.  I realize that Robert Frost was right,  "good fences [hanging heavy with grapes, do] make good neighbors"!
     My friend is correct, this is a beautiful scene.  How did I become so blind to it in my daily walk around the yard, gathering vegetables for dinner or herbs for sauces and soups?   Where does our vision go as we hurry through the everyday routines of life?  How many other precious sights, quietly extended blessings, beautiful moments have I missed as I've gone about the tasks of each day?
     It's true, and not always our fault, that we are in a rush.  Life can be so demanding.  There are requirements to be fulfilled, many expectations to be met.  Lingering is not always possible or permitted.  In the process, unfortunately, we can become absorbed in the day's routines, failing to see the beauties so immediately before us. 
     I am grateful for my friend.  Her eyes were open and ready to see the unique scene.  Her gentle encouragement opened my eyes, too.  I felt such a sense of peace and pleasure as I viewed my small plot, just bursting with the evidence that nature supplies our wants, for both body and soul.  I had eagerly partaken of the vegetables, fruits and herbs to feed my body, but had neglected the food that was right there, waiting to feed my soul.  So, for a moment, the dishes can wait.  The phone can ring.  The shopping can be done later.  These days won't always be with me.  Taking time to enjoy their peace and beauty causes my heart to swell, my gratitude to multiply tenfold.
     We think so much of our temporal needs:  bills to be paid, work to be done; meals to be prepared; shopping;  laundry;  classes to attend;  errands--all so necessary in the scheme of life.  Yet we think so little of the soul that has equally important needs:  time to be filled with the beauty God has provided in nature;  time for quiet;  time for solitude, prayer and thanksgiving.   Perhaps we would be blessed to consider giving a greater share of our time to feeding the soul.


TODAY'S  GENTLE  ENCOURAGEMENT:  LOOK  FOR  A  FEW  WAYS  YOU  COULD   SIMPLIFY  YOUR  LIFE,  LEAVING  SOME  TIME  TO  SEE  THE  BEAUTY  AROUND  YOU, ALLOWING  YOU  THE  OPPORTUNITY   TO  FEED  YOUR  SOUL. 

Prayers Filled With Gratitude

Reminder:  If you've been keeping a Gratitude Journal now is a good time to update it.  Who blessed your life this week?  What events lifted your heart?  What did you see, hear or read that inspired you?  There are so many reasons to be grateful!  

    

     Nearly a year ago, 33 Chilean miners were miraculously rescued after more than two months underground. As they emerged from their dark prison, many of them were wearing t-shirts emblazoned on the front with, "Gracias Senor," or "Thank you Lord."  

2010 Copiapó mining accident, at the
San Jose Mine copper and gold mine, Chile

     While trapped, one 55 year old miner, Jose Henriquez,  had become their spiritual leader.  Twice each day he led the men in prayer.  From deep beneath the earth, he communicated with rescuers on the surface, expressing his faith that God's will would be done. He quoted from Psalms 95:4,  "In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him."  It was Henriquez and his fellow miners who requested that the t-shirts be made, and they asked that the scripture from Psalms be imprinted on the back of each one.  Their objective was to make a statement from the very first moment of their rescue, which they tenaciously believed would take place.  That statement: that God should have the praise and glory for their survival.

     I was deeply impressed last year as I watched the televised coverage of their rescue.  The faith of those men seemed, to me, incredible.  All the odds appeared stacked against them.  Who can survive 10 weeks underground?  And to survive such an extreme ordeal, remembering and praising God daily, is such a beautiful lesson for all of us.  I know my faith feels puny by comparison, my whining over discomfort way too frequent and loud. 

     Thankfully, most of us will never have to suffer as these men did.  Yet, they were so very grateful for all that was being done for them, and so appreciative to God for attending them while they were trapped, and for sparing their lives.  How many of us, in our relatively comfortable situations, are as eager to invite God's presence?  How many recognize His work and influence all around us?  How many of us express our thanks? 

     One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."  I love this passage because it implies that no matter what our circumstance it holds a blessing for us.  As we give thanks to God (acknowledge Him) and trust His judgment for our lives, He will lead us and guide us. He will turn even the most difficult trial to our good, if we will have faith in Him and in His love for us.

     Taking a few minutes, each day, to sit silently and make a mental list of our blessings is time well spent.  Taking an additional few minutes to let that gratitude sink into our hearts might well change our focus for the entire day.  And expressing appreciation to God for all those blessings will draw us closer to Him.  We will feel His love more abundantly and come to experience a great peace and confidence that we are well watched over, truly cared for and remembered.

     Deeply felt gratitude is such a wonderful attribute.  It can fill us with supreme happiness and turn even our darkest days into a divine passage filled with the light of God's love.

TODAY'S  INSPIRED  QUOTATION:           You say grace before meals.  All right.  But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.     G.K. Chesterton

Every Day, We Get to Choose

     One of the things I like most about a new day is that it's a new beginning.  A new chance.  A new opportunity.  On any given day I can completely alter the way I choose to relate to life.  Yesterday may have been a purely awful day, and I may have acted in some purely awful way to its challenges, but today is a new start, and I can throw off the old way of doing things and approach life with a new perspective.  How great is that?!
     I love being positive.  Shifting from a negative to a positive attitude gives me a sense of power over my circumstances.  Even when I can't change those circumstances I can change how I relate to them.  Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps, wrote:  "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms-- to chose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."  Think of it.  We get to decide how we will respond to whatever may be going on in our lives.  That is a very enabling thought.
     Handling unpleasant life experiences probably doesn't come naturally to most of us.  However, there are habits we can form that will assist us in getting through difficulties more successfully.  Here are some things that I do.  I think they can help you, too.

• Try to eliminate or at least reduce refined foods--especially sugary foods--from your diet.  They do not support you nutritionally, and sugar, especially, causes a lot of stress in your system.  Stevia is a totally natural sweetener that you can safely use when you want to sweeten a drink, oatmeal, yogurt, etc. It comes from the stevia plant and you only need a little because it is extremely sweet.  It also has no calories!

• Make it a habit to walk every day or to do a stress reducing exercise, like yoga.   
• Spend some time simply being quiet and still.  Arrange your day so that you have 15 minutes of alone time.  This can be first thing in the morning, last thing at night, while the baby is napping--any time you can fit it in.  Quiet your mind and empty it of any unhappy or contentious thoughts.  Allow yourself to breathe deeply and be still.
• Get out in nature as often as you can.  Being surrounded by trees, grass and flowers has a very calming affect on the body and mind.

• If you live near the beach or a waterfall, walk in that environment daily, if possible.  The air around moving water is filled with negatively charged ions that have a deeply calming, yet energizing, affect on the body and mind. http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/negative-ions-create-positive-vibes  By contrast, computers, televisions, air conditioning, traffic and many other things that surround us in our daily lives emit positively charged ions that can sap our energy and make us feel tired and listless.  High concentrations of negative ions have, in fact, been found to help us feel more energetic and have more positive moods. 

     If we can get into the habit of doing two or three of the things mentioned above, we will find that our whole being is generally calm and at peace.  When difficult days do arise--as they inevitably will--we will be better prepared to handle them.  And should we have an occasional bad day, we will more readily be able to shift our perspective and choose a more pleasant attitude.
     It is such a blessing to know we have the freedom to choose how we will relate to life.  No matter what is going on, we get to make that choice.  And having some effective ways of relaxing our mind and body only makes it better, because engaging in those calming activities just feels so good!


TODAY'S AWESOME BLESSING:          WATCHING  MY HUSBAND  WALK,  TALK  AND  ACT  LIKE  HE'S FEELING  BETTER.   I  AM  SO  GRATEFUL  WHEN  HE HAS  A  GOOD  DAY,  AND  I  CAN  TELL  HE  IS  ENJOYING  LIFE!
  

Realizing What's Truly Important

Yesterday, the anniversary of September 11, 2001, was truly a day of remembrance.  Along with so many others, I paused to view the images and feel the sorrow brought on by the violent and senseless attacks on our nation.  It was good to do that.  I realized, in the process, that ten years ago I was in such shock that I never cried.  I was numb.  Yesterday, I cried.  Releasing those tears was an important part of my healing.  Praying for those who lost so much was also important.
     I am blessed to have a deep faith in a God of love and mercy--a God who watches over and cares for His children, but does not take away their agency to do what they will, even when that means they will take the lives of the innocent.  I also believe that God is a perfect judge who will measure the deeds of 9/11--both the acts of cowardly injustice and the acts of unselfish heroism--and His judgments will be perfect. 
     As I sat through some videos recounting 9/11, I was touched that so many people focused on their love of family, and the way this tragedy almost instantly changed their perspective of what is important. Many had placed their energies on making money and obtaining material possessions. Suddenly they realized that, while they had been pouring their lives into their work, their spouses and children would benefit more from having their time.  Priorities shifted, jobs changed, energy was rechanneled.  The result was greater gratitude for important relationships, greater emphasis on expressing love, and greater happiness within the family. 
     Nothing can take away the horror of 9/11, but if it has helped us to cherish more earnestly the freedoms and blessings we have, then it has brought with it an important message that is positive and, hopefully, lasting.  Mortal beings tend to easily forget.  We tend to shut out the unpleasant from our minds.  May we never forget 9/11 and the lessons it has taught us about what really matters and how quickly we can lose those we love.  May we also remember the goodness, the sacrifice, and the courage of those who risked their lives, and gave their lives, that others might live.  Their bravery is an example for all of us to study and strive to emulate.
     As we reflect on that day, I hope it will be with gratitude, not fear.  Perhaps it would help to remember the words of Mahatma Ghandi who said, "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always."

   There is so much good in life, so many beautiful places for our thoughts to dwell:  all the peaceful days we have known since 9/11;  all the loving relationships we enjoy;  the beauty of the vast and varied landscape of our nation; the freedoms and joys that fill our hours.  May we cherish these blessings in faith and gratitude to God who has granted them to us, for these are, indeed, treasures to be appreciated, safeguarded and enjoyed.

TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:   Hug the ones you love and consider how to spend just a little more time with them.

A Day Like No Other--Remembering 9/11

Reminder:  If you've been keeping a Gratitude Journal now is a good time to update it.  Who blessed your life this week?  What events lifted your heart?  What did you see, hear or read that inspired you?  There are so many reasons to be grateful!   

         Where were you on September 11, 2001?  There is probably no one over the age of twenty who doesn't remember.  So it goes with tragic world events.  As we approach the 10th anniversary of those nightmarish hours and their aftermath, it is fitting and proper to remember those who were lost, and to say a prayer for their families who, no doubt, are still grieving. 
         Grieving takes a long time.  I know, having lost my father at a very young age.  It seemed strange to me, in my twenties, that I couldn't watch a young woman hug her dad without feeling an overwhelming sense of grief and longing.  I think, with greater maturity, I have come to understand that losing a loved one will always leave a tender aching; a place of pain that never fully heals. 
         And so, as we approach this weekend, be kind, there are many souls who are sensitive and sorrowing.  As we look back, through news stories, video, and Ground Zero events, feelings of anger, insecurity and grief may come flooding back.  Each of us will remember what we lost that day, but those who had loved ones snatched from their lives will feel a special private and intense pain.

         I remember that September morning.  I was going about my business, looking for a job.  Suddenly my interview was interrupted by a phone call.  The interviewer looked a little stunned, but said nothing and went on with our conversation.  A half minute later her phone rang again.  This time there was a look of utter horror.  She began crying and explained to me that two planes had flown into the Twin Towers in New York City, and another plane had flown into the Pentagon.  Our nation was under attack. 



The Gold Star Memorial Bridge, spanning the Thames River between New London and Groton, Connecticut



         I was in New London, Connecticut at the time, not far by air from New York City.  The Thames River lies between New London and my hometown of Stonington.  On that river, just north of the bridge I needed to cross, is the Naval Submarine Base at Groton.  I immediately left the interview, watching the sky, wondering if this bridge might also be a target.  If it was hit, its collapse would prevent any submarine at the base from leaving port.  I was scared, and I just wanted to be with my family.

         When I left home that day, it was a beautiful end of summer morning--a morning like so many others.When thousands of New York City residents left their homes to go to work at the Twin Towers they were also simply going about their routine business.  They kissed a spouse good-bye, dropped children off at school, or stopped to buy gasoline or pick up a newspaper.  How could they know that everything was about to change in the most unimaginable way? 
         We just never know what any day will bring.  September 11, 2001 was the last day on earth for thousands of people, and the beginning of sorrow for millions more.  Any day might be a day of sorrow or of unimaginable joy.  Whatever today brings, it is the very best day to show our love, give someone a hug, share a smile, and express our gratitude to family and friends.  Life and loved ones are so precious, and unthinkable as it may seem, we may not have another chance!


TODAY'S INSPIRED QUOTATION:           
Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.
                                                                                           Margaret Cousins, writer 

Gotta Love That Zucchini !

         Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without friends?  My friends are a mainstay and a strength, and there are days when their kindness and support mean everything to me.  I just love them. 
         As I've been thinking about ways to relax, and the ones I like most, I couldn't help but think of my friend, Jessica.  A couple weeks ago Jess brought over some chocolate zucchini cake.  Never had it?  Neither had I, but it only took one bite to realize this would be a favorite.  In fact, I can think of nothing nicer on a cool September morning than a square of chocolate zucchini cake (yes, folks, I'm with Bill Cosby--chocolate cake for breakfast!), and a cup of warm herbal tea; oh, so relaxing and delicious.  You'll especially appreciate it if you're a mom with children still at home.  Imagine, you've gone through all the craziness of corralling the kids and herding them out the door to school.  The door clicks shut (or BANGS!) and the house is suddenly quiet.  Now is your moment.  Cut yourself a piece of cake, pour a cup of tea and let the peace sink in.     
         It's true, I'm retired and my children graduated from school long ago, so I don't have to wait for the door to slam.  But I remember those days so clearly, and I figured I shouldn't keep something this good to myself.  So, here is my relaxation gift to you--Jessica's recipe.  I hope you'll treat yourself to its moist texture and chocolaty delicious taste.  If it's been a really tough morning go ahead and have two pieces.
You have my permission!
        CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE    

First Cream Together:

1/2 Cup Margarine, I've used real butter and it tastes just as yummy.

1/2 Cup Vegetable oil

1 3/4 Cups White Sugar

Add: 

2 Eggs

1T Vanilla

1/2 Cup Milk

Then Mix in:

2 1/2 Cups Flour

4 T Cocoa, I tend to add more 

1/2 t Baking Powder

1t Baking Soda 

1/2 t Cinnamon

1/2 t Cloves

Once you've added and mixed in all the above ingredients stir in 2 Cups finely grated zucchini.  Keep stirring until all zucchini is mixed in. Pour into a 9X12 greased and floured pan. Sprinkle with 1/4 Cup of chocolate chips. Bake at 350 for 35-40 mins. Poke with a knife and if it comes out clean it's done.  Let cool for about 15 mins then dust generously with Powdered Sugar. ENJOY!!!

***A cute apron and fun music are key while making this cake because it makes a huge mess and messes are more fun to make when you're singing! *** 

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Thanks, Jessica.  This is a hit!  I hope all my blog readers will try it.

TODAY'S AWESOME BLESSING:        JESSICA.   I'M  SO HAPPY  THAT  HER  MOM  TAUGHT  HER  TO  SHARE!

More Ways to Relax

          One of my favorite ways to connect to a greater sense of gratitude is through relaxation.  It just eases the stress and opens the heart, helping us to be more aware of all the treasures that surround us.  So, from time to time I will dedicate a few posts to relaxation techniques.  You will recall that I did 3 relaxation posts during the week of 8/1/2011 through 8/5/2011.  But there are lots of other ways to "chill", so today I'm going to share my 10 All Time Favorite Ways to Relax.  There's more to it than just a list, however.  In fact, the list will become the relaxation exercise.  How?  You'll see!

My 10 All Time Favorite Ways to Relax  

1.  Sailing on Long Island Sound
2.  Walking in the woods
3.  Listening to summer night sounds as I drift off to sleep

4.  Listening to the sound of gentle rain  with thunder in the distance

5.  Sitting quietly with a cup of hot chocolate while watching snow fall

6.  Taking a hot bath with lavender oil and epsom salts

7.  Walking on the beach
8.  Listening to the roar of a cascading waterfall
9.  The sound of birds singing at dawn on a spring morning
10. A professional massage 

         Unfortunately, it isn't spring every day, I can no longer go sailing on Long Island Sound, it doesn't always rain on cue, and I can't often afford a professional massage.  What to do?  According to an article on Mempowered (http://www.memory-key.com/memory/emotion), positive memories contain many contextual details.  Interesting!  I can choose any one of my top 10 favorites and simply remember it.  Memory can be a very powerful thing, and positive memories are best of all!  So, for this exercise,the relaxation will actually be found within the memory.  As I remember, I relax, and silently think of exactly how I felt at the time I experienced that activity--what I heard, saw, smelled, felt, etc.  I savor every detail of that event, and I simply live in that space mentally for 10 or 15 minutes.   Or, I choose 2 or 3 of my "favorites"  and relax with them for a few minutes each, going from one wonderful experience to the other.  I don't allow my mind to drift into "If onlys"  as in "If only I could go there again," or "if only so-and -so was here again to share that experience", etc.  This is a time for peace.  I allow my memory to take me through my experience.  I simply enjoy it--every gratifying, sensory, wonderful minute of it! 
         Relaxing into a pleasant memory can produce the feeling that we have been transported through time and space to actually experience that very special event all over again. This technique can induce a deep sense of peace and happiness, and help us to move on to the tasks of the day feeling refreshed and uplifted. 

         Now that you've seen my Top 10 Favorite Ways to Relax, consider composing your own list.  When you can't physically engage in the way you might most want to relax, you can still relish its details.  Use your memory of it to help bring about your own deep sense of refreshment.  Labor Day, after all, is about appreciating how hard we all work for our living, relaxing from those labors, and taking a break from the every day demands.  So, have a picnic or bar-b-que, go boating, take a hike, or just spend a little time enjoying some quiet.


TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:  DO SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY:  RELAX! 

        



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The Things We Take For Granted

Note: Great news!  Even though the power in Southeastern Connecticut was expected to be out until at least Saturday, I kept calling my sister's phone number--just hoping.  On Wednesday night she answered!  It was so good to talk to her.  I'm counting my blessings!

         We're all blessed in a lot of different ways.  Some of our blessings seem so commonplace that we may regard them more as "rights" than the godsend they are. A place to live, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, these are everyday necessities, and most of us probably don't think a whole lot about them.   Most of us.  Some people, however, really can't get these basic requirements out of their minds because they're needs that are left chronically unfulfilled. 
         As I promised in my last entry, today I'm going to address one of those needs--hunger. There are people who face a lack of food every day. Due to unemployment or underemployment they struggle to buy just a few groceries.
         Although, as individuals, we can't address every deficiency in the world, hunger is one thing that most of us can do something about.  There are so many people in our nation--the greatest nation on earth--who will go to bed tonight hardly able to sleep because of the discomfort of an empty stomach.  There are parents worried sick about how to feed their children.  There are children worried about the stress their parents are under, AND there are those of us who have a little extra we could share.
         I recently saw a news story about the central food bank in our state.  From there other food banks in many counties receive supplies for needy families.  Because of the poor economy, the demand for assistance is far greater than it would normally be at this time of year.  However, the shelves at the central food bank are nearly empty.

          I've also been watching a series on ABC News called Hunger In America.  Their finding: 1 in 6 Americans don't have access to enough food.  That's millions of people!  But many of us can do a little, with many small efforts adding up to a considerable amount of help for those who are struggling.

          Is there something in our pantry that we could contribute?  Almost all communities have drop off points for food donations.  Community centers, food banks, supermarkets and other locations are waiting and anxious to receive our offerings.  At these sites we can give a gift that is large or small--whatever we can afford.  ABC News has a website with information for finding the location of food pantries in every state.  They also make it easy to give a monetary donation.  For more information go to the Internet and search:  Hunger in America: How to Help-ABC News.
         Not everyone can give.  I understand

A Local Food Bank

that.  Some wonderful people who have never known want before are barely getting by right now. But no matter what our situation, we can pray for those in need.  Many would give if they could, and their  sincere intent counts big time.  That intent, coupled with prayer, can call down the powers of heaven to bless those whose needs are so great.  
         So, whether we give a tangible gift of food, or give ourselves over to prayer, or both, what gratitude should fill our hearts that we have something to give.  What a great feeling to be able to share a little from our abundance of food and faith to relieve someone's hunger--maybe even their fear--and help them to sleep more soundly tonight. 

TODAY'S INSPIRED QUOTATION:    HOW WONDERFUL IT IS THAT NOBODY NEED WAIT A SINGLE MOMENT BEFORE STARTING TO IMPROVE THE WORLD.          Anne Frank 

Bloom Where You're Planted

         Right now hundreds of thousands of people on the east coast are struggling in the aftermath of Hurricane Irene.  Some without flood insurance have lost everything of temporal value.  A few have suffered the ultimate loss, the death of a loved one.  A great number are still without power.  I've been calling my sister's house for 3 days--no answer.  No power.  No phone.  Although I haven't made contact with her, other friends with cell phones tell me there was little damage in her location.  My niece's husband contacted me by Facebook this morning (ain't technology wonderful?!) and assured me they are all fine.  I'm so relieved, but looking forward to hearing my sister's voice before too long.  The power will be back on by next week Rob tells me.  Maybe as soon as Saturday, if they're lucky.


Flooding in Vermont  (Photo by Jeanne Buck)

          When I think of how significantly life has changed for some people over the last few days, my heart aches for their losses. My prayers are for a sense of peace to bless them right now, in their hurt.  Hurricanes can be devastating and recovery can take a very long time.  In fact, the aftermath of the hurricane causes me to consider how many other kinds of needs there are, all around us.  When the sun is shining and the days are calm, it's easy to believe that life will always be good.  However, nature can remind us very quickly of the real nitty gritty problems that exist.  Those problems need to be addressed, and we can help address them.  Look around.  You and I may not be able to get on a plane and fly to the east coast to help with clean up and relief efforts after this storm, but there are needs in our own communities that we can help to meet. In Friday's post I will be addressing one of those specific concerns.      
         In the meantime, I will be pondering my blessings.  I have so many!  I will also be looking around to see who needs a visit, a casserole, a smile, a prayer, or some other help, and I will try to fill that void.  Although I would love to be in Connecticut with family, there are also those, in my own neighborhood, who could benefit from an expression of concern, a little love. 
         "Bloom where you're planted," I've been told.  Hurricanes or no hurricanes, this is a very good season for blooming!

TODAY'S AWESOME BLESSING:   I'VE HEARD FROM MANY EAST COAST FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO ARE FINE AND MOSTLY UNAFFECTED BY THE HURRICANE. 

After the Storm

         The big news, of course, has been the hurricane on the east coast.  With so many of my family and friends living near the Atlantic Ocean, it is good to know that things weren’t as bad as they might have been.  It’s always wonderful, when we make contact after a storm, to express our love and relief that, although there have been disruptions, everything is alright. 

The Eye of  a  Massive Hurricane

         Sometimes we’re aware that storms are coming.  Sometimes they take us by surprise.  Hurricanes can be tracked.  We usually spot them forming off the west coast of Africa and we can measure their speed and progress as they approach the United States.  Other storms can’t be anticipated and can be very difficult, if not impossible, to track.  I’ve become aware of quite a few of these storms lately—most specifically since I’ve joined the Facebook world.  The storms I’m talking about are the more personal storms that come into lives causing disruptions, fear, and sometimes devastating consequences.

         In the past week or two I’ve learned that friends from my past have suffered many difficult—sometimes life threatening—even life taking—situations.  One friend’s dad lost his teaching job after 25 years.  As a result they lost their home.  Two weeks after moving into a more affordable home my friend’s mom passed away, totally unexpectedly, in the middle of the night.  Another friend told me about her sister whose 26 year old son died from a heart condition and within a short time after that her sister's husband also passed away.  A third friend suffered a life threatening bout of double pneumonia and a heart attack within the space of just a couple of years.  When I caught up with her she was suffering other physical ailments that kept her in significant pain.  And yet another friend just finished her last round of chemo for breast cancer.

         I’m sure if you survey your friends and relatives you will find many who are experiencing, or have experienced, extremely difficult circumstances.  Maybe you are in the middle of a howling storm yourself.  Most of these situations come unexpectedly—storms we don't see forming and, perhaps, can’t track. Nevertheless, they are very real.  It's great when a storm passes and we can survey the damage and breathe a sigh of relief, knowing we have come through relatively unscathed.  But many create losses that are painful and permanent.  How do we deal with those storms?

        I believe that it might well be impossible if not for the love and support of family and friends.  I remarked to one of my friends, who had experienced life threatening illnesses, that she sounded very cheerful.  Her response was, “Your whole outlook on life changes when you’re given, not once but twice, the chance to live. So I always try to stay cheerful.  Life is wonderful when you can be here with the ones you love!”   Isn’t that a great attitude, and a wonderful recognition of what is really important?!

         As Hurricane Irene churned up the Atlantic seaboard I made phone calls and expressed my concern and love to family and friends who were in the line of fire. They would have done the same for me.  How grateful I am that, when the storms of life come upon us, if we are fortunate, we are not alone.  There are loved ones near and far who are letting us know of their concern, and who will be there to help us in the aftermath.  Their expressions of affection, their support, comfort and aid are priceless and precious manifestations that before, during and after the storm there is love. 

TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:   LET A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE.  MAKE A SPECIAL EFFORT TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO SOMEONE WHO IS ILL OR SUFFERING.  OR EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE THAT THEY'VE COME THROUGH THEIR STORM, AND THEY'RE ALRIGHT.

The Goodness That is YOU

Reminder:  If you've been keeping a Gratitude Journal now is a good time to update it.  Who blessed your life this week?  What events lifted your heart?  What did you see, hear or read that inspired you?  There are so many reasons to be grateful!  

A new post will be published each Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

         Someone asked me the other day if I was feeling a little sentimental.  I replied, "No, I don't think so."  Then he referenced my blogs from earlier this week.  I laughed.  Guess I got caught strolling down memory lane.  But there's nothing wrong with a little exercise that brings you back into contact with the great people and experiences you've known.  However, to spare you from my nostalgia, I will address a different kind of topic today--the blessing of being POSITIVE.
         I've commented more than once that there is so much good in the world that it isn't difficult to find many reasons for being grateful.  But what about the good IN YOU, that goodness that IS YOU?  I sometimes think, if we could just understand how really awesome we are, we would be absolutely EXCITED about life and about all our possibilities for affecting the world around us in marvelous ways.  I don't mean that in a "Look at me.  Look how wonderful I am" way.  In fact, the very thought of how special we are is extremely humbling.
         We all came from God.  Having come from our great Creator, we also contain a bit of divinity.  Though much of that divine light may be dimmed by this moral life, that light is still within us, and we can, given enough thought and effort, access it.  But how do we do that?
          My formula:

• First, believe in the goodness that is you.  Believe that you are a bit of divinity, placed here upon this earth to do good and to be an influence that uplifts and helps others.  Believe that humbly and with thanksgiving.
• Second, spend a little time each day just sitting quietly and letting that belief sink into your soul. Ponder what it means and how you can use it for good.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone."  You must take time to be still and listen for the quiet whisperings of the Spirit--the spirit of God speaking to that bit of divinity within you.  
• Third, choose a quotation, scripture, or inspired thought that you can easily memorize that sums up that belief.  Here are a few suggestions, but any positive message will do if it reminds you that you are capable and of value:

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.  Thomas Edison

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man that thou visitest him?  For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour."  (Psalms 8:4-5  KJV)

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.  Vincent Van Gogh

Prepare your mind to receive the best that life has to offer.  Ernest Holmes

• Forth and last, go out and DO.  Act upon the belief that you have an important purpose in life and the power to accomplish that purpose.

         If that all seems a little heady or too "out there", believe me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting a positive spin on life.  There are certainly enough negative messages in the world.  Contemplating the goodness within ourselves, and the goodness we can achieve, will help to counter those messages.  Whether our purpose is to be the best parent, the best doctor, the best grocery store clerk or the best friend we can be, each of us can go about the world spreading the light of kindness and genuine concern for others.  
         We are extraordinary and unique, you and I.  We have the potential to bless the world in so many enriching and wonderful ways. We each have great capabilities and the power to achieve much good.  Wouldn't it be incredible if, together, we caused the light of that belief to shine so brilliantly that even those who doubt their value could begin to see it clearly? 


TODAY'S INSPIRING QUOTATION:  There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces -- and success instead of eluding him flows toward him.    Norman Vincent Peale

Gratitude and Work

   
          Now that I've joined the Facebook generation, I've found myself wondering what will happen to my waistline.  Facebook, e-mail, researching information on the computer, that's a lot of time SITTING, and less time doing physical things.  It doesn't mean I'm not working--the computer has become an important work tool for me.  It does mean that my work has taken on a different hue.  One with which  I'm not yet completely comfortable.  I am, after all, from a different generation.
           One thing I noticed, as I was growing up, was the incredible work ethic of my grandparents.  Both sets of grandparents were always busy providing for the needs of their families, and that meant physical labor, and a lot of it!  Although they napped for a while each afternoon, in the hours before and after their rest they were working.  As a child, I watched my Grandpa Durfee and his sons build a house they would later sell to help provide for family needs.  I saw them helping one another, and helping my mom complete the construction of our home after my father died. 
         My dad's parents were Italian and they had a huge garden, a vineyard, orchard, and chestnut trees.  My grandpa and uncles were forever clearing away brush, weeding, pruning, planting and picking.  That was in addition to my uncles' regular employment away from home. 
         My aunts were busy cooking meals, doing laundry, tending children, encouraging civility and enterprise, and dispensing love in generally large doses.  My own mother did those things, as well.  When I was in Junior High School she returned to school to earn her degree as a licensed practical nurse.  She would later earn degrees as a registered nurse and a nurse practitioner. 
         I don't remember people sitting around too often with time on their hands.  However, there were periods of rest and recreation--playing bocce ball on the lawn, or watching a Saturday afternoon Red Sox or Yankees game on television at the Norcia farm.  And sometimes we'd go out to Sandy Point on the boat owned by my mom's brothers.  There we could spend a few hours picnicking and swimming.  We also had cousins and friends to play with.  However, these were generally "earned" privileges that came after our homework and chores were completed.  And we did have chores!  There was gardening to do, house cleaning, and tending the chickens.  Some of us had newspaper routes after school and on weekends.  As an additional part of our weekly routine, we were also expected to take our turns helping with the laundry and ironing, and with dinner preparations and clean up. 
          If all that sounds a little overwhelming, it wasn't.  It was the way life was, and it was healthy.  There were no computers, let alone computer games.  We had a party line with two neighboring families and often had to "wait our turn" to use the phone.  There were no 2 or 3 hour phone conversations with friends, and no begging for a phone of our own.  We asked before we plopped down on the living room rug to relax in front of a television show because watching T.V. was the exception.
         The other thing I remember about my grandparents, aunts and uncles, were their frequent expressions of gratitude for all they had. My Italian grandparents had moved to the United States to live and work in a Massachusetts mill town, just for the opportunity to have a better life than they had known in "the old country".   It wasn't until years later, with the help of an uncle, that they bought a small farm in rural Connecticut.  All the relatives in the generation before mine lived through a severe depression in this country.  They knew what "hungry" felt like, because they sometimes went to bed having eaten little or nothing.  They knew what moldy flour tasted like, because sometimes it was the only flour they had.  They knew the exhilaration of watching their gardens grow because they had taken the time to plant and tend them, but they knew more than that.  They were aware that sometimes all the planting and tending and watchful care in the world could come to nothing, because sometimes the earth did not produce if there was to much rain, or too little rain, or disease. Knowing how capricious nature can be, and how hard food was to come by, even from the grocer, they also knew a dependence upon God, and gratitude to their Creator for providing for their needs.  They knew that body aches and fatigue, even in productive years, were necessary to make the earth yield a harvest.  They knew the exertion required to catch a fine "haul" of fish.  And they knew that the after effects of sore muscles and aching joints were a whole lot better than the feeling of hungry.  
         Hard work, back then, was usually productive work.  I remember the joy on my Grandmother Durfee's face as she picked a bouquet of flowers she had grown in her yard, and my Grandpa Norcia proudly displaying the chicken eggs he had gathered from the coop and placed in his brimmed hat.  I remember my mother beaming with pleasure at the jars of canned beans, peaches, jams and soups she had "put up"; not to mention the freezer filled with produce she had blanched and packed away in plastic freezer boxes. I also remember the excitement as she earned her diploma in nursing.
         Am I stuck on living in the past?  I don't think so.  However, I am stuck on remembering that there used to be a physical component to life that was much more prevalent than it is today.  Sitting at the computer or playing with your cell phone seems, to me, to lead to more sedentary preoccupations, like games and texting--even while driving!  I simply fear that we will forget some really important things like: there are people to talk to--face to face; eyes to look in to, to see the sparkle of pride, or joy, or satisfaction reflected there; people to be listened to--really listened to--not just in passing, but with our full attention.  And even though the world has changed in many respects, there are still bodies that benefit from the pain of exertion and a little sweat pouring down the back during an afternoon of gardening, or building, or helping a friend in need; and minds that can be plied to think in new directions and learn new things.
         Yes, I am looking back a bit, but only because there is something to be learned there: hard work, whether mental or physical, feels great, and along with that feeling of satisfaction is the feeling of gratitude--gratitude that you CAN work; gratitude that your labors are productive; gratitude that what you have produced is blessing your family, and gratitude to God, from whom all blessing flow. Gratitude and hard work are twin attributes.  Working hard makes you grateful that you have the capacity to work, and that it produces fruit; and the fruit of your labor produces gratitude that your work has not been in vain.

TODAY'S AWESOME BLESSING:  Thanks to Facebook and e-mail I made contact this week with 3 friends from my younger years.  We hadn't talked in such a long time!  So, you see, I'm not anti-technology.  I just have a great appreciation for focused, productive work.