Doing Gratitude--Listening For Needs

      There are certainly many ways to show our gratitude for friends and family:

•   thank you notes, letters and phone calls
•   sharing our love and talents
•   providing comfort during times of stress and illness
•   praying for them
•   and one of my favorites, listening for their needs.  

     This last expression of gratitude may be one of the most difficult, since it requires that we are really paying close attention to what is being said.  I am sometimes guilty of spending more time formulating a response than attentively listening. This can be a death knell to real communication, since often times needs are not openly and easily expressed.  Understanding them may be more a matter of our sensitive observation, and reading between the lines to identify the intent of what someone is saying.  So, really listening is essential if we are to truly understand the needs of others.

Really listening is an act of love and gratitude.

     Listening attentively and allowing others to fully speak their mind is an art.  More than that, it is an act of love and gratitude.  It says, "I appreciate our relationship so much that I am willing to listen to you until you are all talked out; to allow you to explore your emotions  until both you and I come to understand what it is you are feeling and needing."  Thus approached, listening becomes an expression of compassion, love, and for the listener, self-discipline; and who among us couldn't use more self-discipline?
      Hopefully, we all know someone who is a great listener, since listening is one of the most priceless gifts we can extend to another.  My mom was a wonderful listener.  As a  bride-to-be I remember sitting with her on the beach, asking a lot of questions about how to make a home, plan meals, and be financially responsible.  She was attentive to my questions and my enthusiasm, and as she answered thoughtfully, she made me feel like she had all the time in the world for me.
      I have a niece who seems to share that same talent.  Recently I was visiting with her and her dad.  I hardly remember expressing a particular need that I was concerned about,  but she heard.  A few days later I received a phone call from her offering a solution.  I was touched by her thoughtfulness.  Not only had she heard what I said, she heard the desire behind it.  Her gratitude for family, and her sense of compassion, caused her to really think about how she might be of help.  How grateful I am, not simply for her listening ears, but for her listening heart.  

     Talking is a big part of life, and we all find ourselves engaged in conversations.  Striving to really listen, and allowing others the privilege of fully speaking, is a wonderful art to cultivate.  It will strengthen our relationships, give us greater knowledge and understanding, and help us to form deep bonds of love and gratitude.   

     


TODAY'S  INSPIRED  QUOTATION:  "The first duty of love is to listen."   Paul Tillich



Photo Credit: Perry Photos