By now, most of my friends know that Lynn is on hospice care. When they greet me they are quick to ask how he is doing, and how I am doing. I love them for their sincere concern! Often, as we exchanges comments, they express sympathy for my situation, and a genuine empathy for what I may be experiencing. I say "may be experiencing" because they understand that, without the ability to get into my skin and move around in my day to day life, they cannot know just what I am going through. Their sensitivity to that fact touches me deeply and makes me appreciate our sweet association more than ever!
I have to admit, it would be easy to sink into a "slough of despond" (a favorite phrase from a Bronte book) but I'm no quitter, and I'm certainly not a "victim". There is just too much in life to appreciate and enjoy, in spite of challenges and sorrows. That being said, I am not without my disappointments, and I thought I'd write about one of them today.
At this stage of my life, I have many friends who are going on missions for my church. They are couples who have worked hard all their lives, saved diligently, and are now serving in various ways around the world. Some are service missionaries. Some are proselyting missionaries. Many years ago, my mom worked as both a service and a proselyting missionary after she raised her children. She labored for 2 years in the Lima, Peru area teaching hygiene and nutrition to native Peruvians, as well as sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Some service missionaries help people in various countries with farming practices or medical needs. They assist military families, help individuals find their ancestors, and work in a variety of other ministries to help others, both members of our Church and non-members.
Some of my married friends serve as mission presidents and mission "mothers". All have prepared themselves financially and spiritually to fill their positions with dedication and commitment. All are spiritually strong couples, with a common sense of urgency to spread the love of Christ, watch over the young single missionary men and women assigned to their care, and share the good news of The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
As young men, five of my sons filled two year missions in various parts of the world. Each eagerly awaited his mission call, anticipating where he would serve, how far from home he would have to travel, if his assignment would require learning a new language, and if he was truly prepared and ready for such an important responsibility.
As I've said in other posts, I believe we all have a mission, or missions, to perform in this life. I always thought my husband and I would serve in ways similar to those of my mission couple friends. Not necessarily in a mission presidency, but perhaps in some service position. I've had to come to grips with the loss of that dream. One of my former bishops told me, "You also have been called on a mission. It isn't one like those of your friends, but it is just as important, and perhaps far more difficult." I appreciate his revealing that wisdom to me at a time when my hurt had hidden its truth from my mind.
We don't always think of serving those within the walls of our own home as laboring to bring souls to God. It certainly isn't very exciting or very grand. It doesn't take us to foreign lands or unfamiliar places. It doesn't require learning a new language or becoming acquainted with new customs; at least not in the traditional sense. However, I will admit, I often feel like I'm traveling through unknown territory, and learning a new language of love and service unknown to me until given this opportunity to minister. No, I am not in Europe or Asia or the South Seas working with a multitude of new acquaintances, helping them to understand and embrace the gospel. But, in spite of the proximity of my service, I know it is making a difference.
I have to admit, it would be easy to sink into a "slough of despond" (a favorite phrase from a Bronte book) but I'm no quitter, and I'm certainly not a "victim". There is just too much in life to appreciate and enjoy, in spite of challenges and sorrows. That being said, I am not without my disappointments, and I thought I'd write about one of them today.
At this stage of my life, I have many friends who are going on missions for my church. They are couples who have worked hard all their lives, saved diligently, and are now serving in various ways around the world. Some are service missionaries. Some are proselyting missionaries. Many years ago, my mom worked as both a service and a proselyting missionary after she raised her children. She labored for 2 years in the Lima, Peru area teaching hygiene and nutrition to native Peruvians, as well as sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Some service missionaries help people in various countries with farming practices or medical needs. They assist military families, help individuals find their ancestors, and work in a variety of other ministries to help others, both members of our Church and non-members.
Some of my married friends serve as mission presidents and mission "mothers". All have prepared themselves financially and spiritually to fill their positions with dedication and commitment. All are spiritually strong couples, with a common sense of urgency to spread the love of Christ, watch over the young single missionary men and women assigned to their care, and share the good news of The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
As young men, five of my sons filled two year missions in various parts of the world. Each eagerly awaited his mission call, anticipating where he would serve, how far from home he would have to travel, if his assignment would require learning a new language, and if he was truly prepared and ready for such an important responsibility.
As I've said in other posts, I believe we all have a mission, or missions, to perform in this life. I always thought my husband and I would serve in ways similar to those of my mission couple friends. Not necessarily in a mission presidency, but perhaps in some service position. I've had to come to grips with the loss of that dream. One of my former bishops told me, "You also have been called on a mission. It isn't one like those of your friends, but it is just as important, and perhaps far more difficult." I appreciate his revealing that wisdom to me at a time when my hurt had hidden its truth from my mind.
We don't always think of serving those within the walls of our own home as laboring to bring souls to God. It certainly isn't very exciting or very grand. It doesn't take us to foreign lands or unfamiliar places. It doesn't require learning a new language or becoming acquainted with new customs; at least not in the traditional sense. However, I will admit, I often feel like I'm traveling through unknown territory, and learning a new language of love and service unknown to me until given this opportunity to minister. No, I am not in Europe or Asia or the South Seas working with a multitude of new acquaintances, helping them to understand and embrace the gospel. But, in spite of the proximity of my service, I know it is making a difference.
Often, when helping Lynn, I think of the man who came upon the fellow at the shore, throwing
one starfish at a time back into the sea. I'm sure you know the story: The man, seeing the hundreds of starfish that have washed up with the tide
says, "Why are you doing that? It can't possibly make a
difference." The other fellow, throwing one more little creature back into the
ocean, says, "It made a difference to that one!"
I can't be in some far flung nation helping people to see the value of Christ's gospel, but here, I can do my part for one person. I can live the gospel of Jesus Christ and be an example of what He would do. The Apostle James said, "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction." (James 1:27)--and, I think, a spouse whose health is failing.
Were I in Lynn's position, slowly losing my abilities, and dealing with years of illness, my spirit might be wounded beyond repair without the daily administration of love that speaks, not just to the value of living the gospel, but to Lynn's value as an individual. For what is the gospel of Jesus Christ, if not a witness to the value of each and every person who walks or has walked the earth? There is simply no way to measure the worth of a spouse, a friend, a companion, a child of God. So, while I may not be out saving tens or perhaps hundreds of souls, I can help to save and uplift one soul. I can help Lynn, and I believe it does make a difference to
him. I know it is making a difference in my life, as I learn a new language of love, and as I learn to embrace this unique kind of service. As I have come to terms with the way I have been called to minister, although I realize it isn't the mission I had planned on, I know
it is a significant mission, and I feel blessed to serve!
