Why all the Negativity?

I hope everyone had a relaxing and refreshing weekend.  Our family made plans for our Thanksgiving dinner.  We are getting together with some of our children and grandchildren to share a great meal, a warming fire, and some games.  I am so looking forward to a really special Thanksgiving celebration!

As I promised, I will be answering questions about gratitude, and the one I'm answering today brings up an issue that I think a lot of us struggle with:

Why do I so often feel negative instead of grateful?

I hope my answer will give you some insight, and maybe some solace.  

It’s a sad fact that it’s easier to dwell on the negative than the positive.  Two specific reasons for this come to mind.  First, according to Professor Clifford Nass of Stanford University, negative and positive information are processed in different hemispheres of the brain and negative information, apparently, gets more attention as it requires more thinking.  It is, in fact, processed more thoroughly than positive information.  Therefore, it is remembered longer and is more easily recalled.  An acquaintance of mine who writes books on relationships and best business practices, tells me that emotions are processed in an area of the brain called the amygdala.  This area registers threats in a way that is designed to protect us from harm.  It does not differentiate between a major threat or a menace that is fairly inconsequential.  The amygdala's job is to register negative experiences and their emotions in order to alert us to danger and keep us from getting hurt.  So, don’t be too hard on yourself if you tend toward seeing the negative more readily than the positive in life. It is your body's built in defense system.  However, if not controlled, this inclination to see the negative could get out of hand.  Fortunately, there are strategies for regulating this instinctive response and, where appropriate, replacing it with positive thoughts and gratitude.  I'll list some ideas in a moment.

A second reason we focus on the negative is due to signals we receive from the media around us. Advertising plays a huge role in our lives.   The things of the world are constantly paraded before us:  luxury cars, exotic vacations, gourmet foods, expensive clothing and perfumes, homes with every amenity we could dream of.   It’s all presented in a way that leads us to believe that having these “things” will instantly make us happier, more successful, and more popular.  However, studies have found that these things do not really improve our sense of happiness.  It is our relationships and our sense of gratitude for life's blessings that bring us happiness and fulfillment.

The Hebrew term for gratitude is hakarat hatov, which means, literally, "recognizing the good."  As we attempt to overcome the natural role our brain plays in recognizing the negative and alerting us to it, and the heavy role that advertising plays in our lives, gratitude will help to set our feet on a path to appreciation and happiness.  It will help us to train our brains to recognize the good and focus more attention on it. As we regularly engage in positive, grateful thoughts, we will develop a pattern of appreciation that will become a part of our nature.  

There are, literally, thousands of reasons to feel positive and to focus on the good.  So, don’t accept that you were “just born that way” and can’t overcome the tendency to dwell on the negative.  YOU CAN!  Honing your sense of gratitude will help you every step of the way!

Here are a few ideas for getting started:

•      Serve someone in need.  There is nothing like visiting with a shut in, bringing a treat to someone who is lonely, helping at a food pantry or soup kitchen, or volunteering at the local hospital.  These acts of kindness help us to gain perspective on our own problems, and recognize how really blessed we are!

•          Surround yourself with friends!  People who have a social network of friends are more inclined to be happy than those who don’t.  There are so many good times to share; so many memories to make!  Friends can help us have the courage to try new things, go new places, and stretch ourselves in ways we wouldn’t if we were alone.  Plus, there is nothing like a friend when we need someone to confide in, or to help us through a difficult time.  We weren’t meant to go through life alone.  So, I’ll say it again:  Surround yourself with friends!

• ·         Reconnect with the child you once were.  One of the attributes I admire about my oldest son is that he is still connected to the kid inside.  He's a favorite with nieces and nephews because he knows how to have fun.  There is just something so charming, attractive and wonderful about the person who can relax and relate to the world with the eyes and heart of a child. Every once in a while, let go a little and allow yourself to blow a BIG bubble with a piece of bubble gum. Color a picture in your kid's coloring book (then stop to smell the fragrance of the crayons on the paper). Blow soap bubbles with your kids or grandkids and notice the iridescence of each delicate orb just before it bursts.  Jump on a big piece of bubble wrap just to hear it POP, or sing at the top of your lungs!  Reconnect with that joyful part of your being.  It really is still there, inside you, and it will be thrilled to be let out for a while.  And you will be grateful for the joy you feel as you allow yourself the pleasure of truly experiencing the connectedness to life as you once knew it!

• ·     No matter how crazy life is, take care of yourself every day.  Take time to be still, to reflect, to relax a little, and to pray.  Fifteen focused minutes a day works wonders.   If you only have five minutes, that is certainly better than nothing!  Breathe deeply and reflect on the good in life.  Research shows that as you take time for gratitude, your heart rate will improve.  You will sleep better, and you will experience more happiness.  All for an investment of a few focused minutes a day!

 

Gratitude and Peace

Gratitude and Peace

We all want to feel greater peace in our lives.  The world can be so chaotic and so many things seem--and sometimes are--out of our control.  I have found that practicing gratitude goes a long way in helping me realize the blessings I do have, and the good that influences my life everyday.  So, today's question is:  

In our fast paced and chaotic world, how can a sense of gratitude help me to feel more peaceful?

Gratitude is an attribute—perhaps the primary attribute—that connects us to Deity.  As we look out upon the natural world, taking in and appreciating its wonder and beauty, we realize there is a power and creative force at work in the universe.  Giving thanks for these wonders, our hearts and minds are turned to a source of power far beyond our own.  Many acknowledge this force as God, and feel not only appreciation for His handiwork but also a security and peace in knowing that someone all-knowing is in charge. 

In the Old Testament, when Elijah was directed by an angel to stand on Mt. Horeb, he experienced a great rushing wind, an earthquake, and a fire.  We are told that the Lord was not in any of these manifestations.  Following all of these, there came a "still small voice."  This was the voice of God, a voice of peace.  The spirit of God is the spirit of peace!

Just as Elijah experienced the overpowering wind that broke the rocks around him into pieces, just as he endured the earthquake and the fire, we too endure much over which we have no control.  However, as we practice gratitude everyday, our growing sense of appreciation will allow us to hear the voice of comfort, and feel the spirit of peace that will eventually come into our lives.  This recoginition comes as we acknowledge  that there is Someone greater and far more capable than we who is in charge.  The yielding up of our attitude of self-sufficiency—at least enough to acknowledge God's hand in our affairs--helps give us a sense of peace. It also engenders humility.  Add to that humility and peace the blessing of friends, family and associates who touch us in significant, positive ways, and we come to know that we definitely are not alone.  It is when we lose site of the Divine good in our lives, and the divinely good people who reach out to us, that our sense of peace and gratitude falters.  

I encourage you, when life gets overwhelming, to take time out to write down a list of the blessings that have come to you through the grace of God and the gift of associating with the people who fill your world.  It doesn't matter if that list is long or short.  Take some time to focus on each item you've noted, and give thanks.

This exercise takes some time and effort, but gratitude, like all things of value, is not a cheap gift. However, a consistent effort given over time becomes a habit, and the habit of being grateful yields many blessings--a sense of peace among them.   Take 10 or 15 minutes a day to recount your blessings. Remember the feelings you had as each blessing came into your life, and take a moment to relive those feelings of appreciation.  As you engage in this exercise, I promise it will make a significant difference in your level of peace, and the degree of gratitude that fills your heart.

The Blog is Back!

Two years ago I had to discontinue my blog posts to go back to full time work, and take care of my husband, Lynn.  I am still caring for Lynn, but I am no longer working away from home.  During that time I also worked on updating my book, Gratitude's Transcending Power.  I've added some new stories, and discovered some great research that highlights the benefits of making gratitude a part of our very being.  As an additional help to myself and my readers, I am again writing my gratitude blog.  I hope you will enjoy the posts!

I will be answering some frequently asked questions concerning gratitude.  If you have a question, please feel free to ask it in the Comments section, and I will do my best to respond.  PLEASE, tell your friends and family about AllThingsGratitude.blogspot.com.   Their questions and observations, and yours, about gratitude are always welcome.

Today's Post:

Why should I be grateful when life is so hard?

Being grateful is a many-dimensional thing.  It’s not just saying “thank-you” or remembering to send a note to someone for his kindness.  It is really a way of relating to the world around us, and that relationship can transform us into a person who is able to take life’s setbacks in stride, see beyond the obvious, and find reasons for hope and joy.

Gratitude is an attribute of POWER.  Not the kind of power that flaunts itself to control others, but the kind of power that exerts itself to lift the spirit and elevate a person’s outlook on life.   When gratitude becomes the lens through which we see life we find that we can be grateful in circumstances that are less than optimal.  How does this occur?   True gratitude allows us to see the benefits of our situation.  Those benefits may only be that we are learning greater patience, self-control, or compassion.  They may be that we are experiencing things we have never experienced before.   Even a very difficult situation, examined through the eyes of gratitude, will always yield some lesson or blessing of value.

Gratitude is a life changer and a life enhancer.  In fact, it changes US.  We find ourselves becoming more sensitive and appreciative of little things, as well as big things.  We see the value of people and delight in the accomplishments of others.  We learn that nothing is dull or boring because it contains reasons for appreciation and joy.   While life will still present difficulties, we will have a more balanced outlook regarding all that is transpiring in our world.

“[Gratitude] turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
--Melody Beattie

A Noteworthy Tradition

      As we approach Christmas, I hope it will be in the true spirit of this sacred season.  It's fun to buy, wrap and share gifts.  It's great to be with family and friends, to enjoy parties, make neighbor gifts, send cards and bask in the soft light of a decorated Christmas tree.  These, however, are all trappings.  The celebrating, gift giving, tree trimming, and greetings of the season, hopefully, will turn our thoughts and hearts to the true reason for this very special holiday: remembering the birth and life of our Savior.

     I must admit, I'm as thrilled as anyone by the wonderful carols, the smell of pine, and the thoughtful expressions of love that I receive.  However, I hope my heart will rejoice, many times over, in the greatest gift any of us could ever receive: the gift of the life, example, and ultimately the sacrifice and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  

    

     As I think of Him, however, I also think of how far short of His example I fall.  So, in considering the best gift I could give this holiday season, my heart must turn to thoughts of being more kind, less critical, less thoughtless in my speech, and more Christ-like in my daily conduct. 

    

     In my daughter's home there is a noteworthy tradition.  The children begin the month of December with a small empty cradle.  As they do loving deeds and care for others they are allowed to put pieces of straw into the cradle.  The object is to have the cradle filled with straw by Christmas Eve so that the Christ child can be placed within its warm, snug confines.  Each of her three older children delight in thinking of ways to show their love and earn pieces of straw.  Each is honing his or her ability to serve others and to act in Christ-like ways.  What a delightful and meaningful tradition--a tradition from my son-in-law's family, not mine, though I wish it had been!  But I am most pleased that it has been introduced to my grandchildren, and is being carried on to bless their lives with the true spirit of Christmas, which is, of course, the Spirit of Christ.  What a wonderful way to express appreciation to the Savior for His life, and to carry on His example of loving service.

     As we prepare for and celebrate this holiday season, I hope we will take time to think of the needs of others.  I hope we will also take time for Peace.  Peace, quiet, contemplation, and time to express, from our heart, our thankfulness to Jesus Christ for His precious gifts to us.  They are the most important we have received and ever will receive.  His gifts, after all, are what Christmas is really all about!!

TODAY'S AWESOME BLESSING:  I spent the weekend feeling really miserable with body aches and a headache.  On Monday my husband and I had to go out in the late afternoon to take care of some appointments.  When we returned there was a box on the back steps.  On top was written, in the hand of a child, "To a sick grandma.  Love you."  Inside were notes from my grandchildren, my daughter and her husband.   When I called to express thanks, my daughter made certain I knew this was the result of her oldest son's thoughtfulness.  He had instigated the idea of writing the notes and had delivered them himself.  Was this just to earn a little straw?  Knowing this sweet young man, I doubt it.  How fortunate I felt to be the recipient of so much love!!

A Few More Thoughts of Thanks

     I hope all of you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration, and that there are plenty of leftovers to keep you from having to do any serious cooking for a few days.  That, after all, is one of the greatest joys of Thanksgiving!  
     We had a wonderful time with family, and the grand kids always give us reasons to laugh.  There were also many messages of thanks from friends and family via Facebook, e-mail, personal visits and phone.  In short, we had a very special day.  A day blessed by those we love!  Most especially, it was a day to thank God for all His gifts.  May we never forget where our bounty and blessings come from!  One friend posted this on her Facebook, and I want to second her thought. 

     As we leave this Thanksgiving behind, looking forward to next year's opportunity to again give thanks with family and friends, I hope we will carry its spirit into everything we do, noticing each gift that comes, expressing heartfelt gratitude, and recognizing how very blessed we are every day of the year! 


TODAY'S  INSPIRED  QUOTATION:
"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I Can Almost Smell the Turkey Roasting

     I'm zeroing in on the day, just counting the hours.  Tomorrow will be overflowing with good food, great company and abundant laughter.  Thanksgiving is just a day away and I'm as excited to be preparing for it as I will be to actually sit down with family and enjoy the fruits of our labor and God's blessings.

     Today will be consumed with baking pies and bread, and spending some time saying, "thanks" to at least a few friends who have blessed my life during this past year.  No working today, just enjoying the privilege of  time to do what I love best--be at home doing homey things.  I suppose if every day were like this I wouldn't appreciate it so much.  But every day isn't, so it's a treat and a blessing that I plan to thoroughly enjoy.

      To my family who can't be here--I am so grateful for your good lives and I miss you all so very much!  To my friends who live far away--I am as thankful for you as ever, and wish the distance that separates us could vanish, and that you could be a very present part of this festive season.  To my friends and family who are near--thank you for the time you allow us to share, the memories you are helping to make, and the love you so generously express each day of the year.  To my readers, both in the United States and in some dozen foreign countries, I appreciate your visiting this site so regularly.  I hope it helps to inspire your own sense of gratitude and that it brings all of our hearts a little closer to a recognition of just how much we are all alike.  Thank you for your support.  I am overwhelmed with blessings, and don't know nearly enough words to express the gratitude I feel.

     Thornton Wilder wrote, "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."  Perhaps that is why Thanksgiving is so special, why we look forward to it with such delight, and why it is, in so many ways, a day set apart. Because it is a day when we put other things aside and become keenly aware, with all our heart, of family, friends and all our blessings.  Indeed, on this one blessed day, we are conscious of our treasures!    
      So, no matter what our trials or struggles, on Thanksgiving, may we truly be "alive" and grateful for the gifts that bless our lives!

TODAY'S  INSPIRED  QUOTATION:  The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.  No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.  H.U. Westermayer

Thanksgiving Week

     Here we are entering one of my most favorite weeks of the year.  The week of Thanksgiving.  Work on Monday and Tuesday will give way to the big pie making day on Wednesday.  Add a couple of loaves of cranberry bread, and the house should be warm, cozy, and filled with delicious aromas.  Thursday is the day for making artisan bread, a special request from my daughter, and joining with her family and our oldest son for turkey and all the trimmings.  What could be better than celebrating with loved ones the gifts we've been given throughout the year?

     For me this has been a wonderful twelve months.  I've had some extra time to be at home--my favorite place--caring for my favorite person, and simply enjoying being a homemaker.  Recently, I've been blessed to be offered an at home job, where I can be accessible to my husband and able to care for his needs.  In a climate that is sometimes harsh and icy, I have to add the blessing of not having to drive on ice and snow to get to work.  How great is that?!
     I've been delighted  this month to see some of my friends on Facebook post daily entries of blessings for which they are grateful.  It has been a constant reminder that there are gifts, great and small, that grace each day.  Therefore, there are reasons every day for joy.  
     Because this is Thanksgiving week, I plan to let this be an extra special time of pondering and gratitude as I count my blessings and express, sometimes silently, sometimes aloud, the appreciation I feel for each one. In addition, I've set a goal to send written expressions of thanks to some of the people who have especially blessed my life through their actions, who have been an example of goodness, or who have inspired me. 
     What a perfect season for reflection; a time, not to be hurried through or dismissed, but to be savored.  An opportunity to think of those who have touched my life for good, and of those things which have come to gladden my heart and ease my way.

First Thanksgiving, Plymouth Colony, 1621

     It seems incredible to me that it was nearly 400 years ago that the Pilgrims established their new home at Plymouth colony.  I am grateful that in spite of all the hardships they suffered, and the deaths of so many of their little band, those 53 survivors still found it in their hearts to set aside a day to thank God for His blessings, and for a successful harvest.  I wonder, how many successful
harvests do we enjoy throughout our year?  The harvest of income to meet the needs of our families; the harvest of a good education;  the harvest of information that comes as we read books, magazines and newspapers; the harvest of strength and guidance we receive through the support and encouragement of family and friends; the harvest of good health through abundant food and skilled medical care; the spiritual harvest of prayers that are answered and blessings received--of safety, of happiness, of wants supplied, of peace and freedom; the harvest of joy from time spent with those we love.  We do not lack for an abundant harvest.  For all these blessings, may we give thanks all year long, and especially during this wonderful Thanksgiving week.


TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:  During this special week, take time to hold a child close, or to be extra kind to a pet, to remember the goodness of a friend, to reflect on your love for your spouse, to consider God's care.  Then, let your lips express the appreciation that your heart feels. 

  

The Gift of Opportunity

     When we're young our lives are filled with many opportunities.  We seem to be met by a never ending flow of new and unfamiliar events and exciting firsts.  Our first steps, our first swimming lesson, first day of school, first bus ride, first sleep over, first summer camp, first date, first job, first car, first kiss, first year of college, first home, first baby....  I love to watch my children and grandchildren experiencing some of their "firsts" and to see their enthusiasm as they master a new skill, or enjoy an incident that thrills their sense of wonder, adventure, or fun. 
      As we become ensconced in adulthood, there may be fewer firsts, and many more obligations.  Life can become pretty serious and demanding, and it can be a challenge to keep things fresh and exciting.  However, even in the more commonplace activities of life, there are many opportunities that supply endless reasons for gratitude and joy.   I am so very grateful for those opportunities, and I think it advantageous to consider them, and express appreciation for them on a regular basis--the warmth of my home on a cold day, the smell of dinner roasting in the oven, the sounds of music, the laughter of children, the happiness of a family gathering.  There are so many opportunities that present themselves.  Each a reason for thanksgiving.  
     Learning is one of those opportunities.  Because it is an ever present possibility in life, and found in so many forms, I find it to be an exciting and enriching aspect of life.
     Last week I had the opportunity of addressing a women's group.  I talked about maintaining a spirit of gratitude, even in the face of adversity.  I pointed out some of the science behind routinely training our thoughts in a positive direction, and the power we have over our own brain chemistry, and how we can influence our own mental and emotional health.   I further shared some direction in exactly how to alter our thinking and some skills that can be used to accomplish that.  Although speaking publicly is not new for me, it was still exciting to prepare my remarks and then share positive, thought provoking information.  
     I find some areas of my life limited because of my husband's illness, so I am especially grateful for those times when I get to share a positive perspective with others.  It is equally exciting when others are sharing new and uplifting information with me.
     I've also recently been training to do some "at home" work--an opportunity I'm grateful for because it will allow me to be with my husband and still supply needed income.  As I was being trained, all the information seemed a bit overwhelming.  However, I've had enough new learning experiences to know that what initially seems to flood and overflow our minds soon gets absorbed and is, indeed, taken in and learned.  As I was going through this process, I was struck by how very capable and marvelous our brains are; how they can take an abundance of new information, order it, make sense of it, and remember it, allowing us to learn new skill sets and become proficient in areas that were previously unexplored and unknown. 

     I know there was a time when I would have run away from such opportunities.  How silly.  What if every child born into the world simply sat in a corner, refusing to move because hand-eye coordination seemed too overwhelming, or because taking first steps seemed dangerous, or because holding a bottle was confusing.  Of course, babies don't do that--it wouldn't occur to them not to learn and progress.  Sometimes, as we get older, however, we become fearful--the reasons can be many--and stop allowing ourselves to take advantage of wonderful opportunities that would increase our joy and satisfaction with life.

     No matter what stage of life we are in, there are many opportunities for excitement,  and many reasons for new experiences, if we allow ourselves, like a small child, to wander a little outside our comfort zone--to explore, feel overwhelmed for awhile, and then trust that our brains will do their marvelous work of processing and ordering things.  They will, you know, and we will get to enjoy new experiences that, perhaps, we felt were outside our realm of possibility. 

TODAY'S GENTLE ENCOURAGEMENT:   “Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities.  Seize common occasions and make them great.”(Orison Swett Marden )      It is gratitude that turns common into  precious and elevates ordinary to exciting!!  (me)

Honoring our Servicemen on Veteran's Day

     I've been away for a couple of weeks, busy learning some information necessary to keep hearth and home together.  But, I'm back!!  Couldn't stay silent on such an important day of the year--Veteran's Day.  
     As the mom of 2 active duty servicemen, one retired, and a forth who is engaged in military instruction, I want to add my voice to the many who, this day, are expressing thanks for those who have given, or are giving, their lives in the service of our nation.

     Thank you for bravely defending and preserving our freedoms so that we can enjoy our very high quality of life.  Thank you for allowing us to rest easy at night, while you guard the perimeter and put your life in harm's way.  Thank you for leaving home and family so that my family can have a home.  Thank you to your spouse, your children, and all your loved ones who worry and wait until you can be with them again.  

     The following were posted on my Facebook account--each a simple, yet profound reminder of the gratitude we wish to express to our Valiant Hero's our military men and women who serve or have served in our armed forces.     THANK YOU!!

As you consider the service personnel you know, remember: 

 "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." -Jose Narosky

The Gift of Kind Speech

     I saw this today, posted on a friends Facebook status:  Before you speak, THINK

                                                                                   T   is it TRUE?

                                                                                   H   is it HELPFUL?

                                                                                   I    is it  INSPIRING?

                                                                                   N  is it  NECESSARY?

                                                                                   K  is it  KIND?

     How much nicer would the world be if we all took the time to THINK before we spoke, and adhered to these simple guidelines?    I know that I am ever grateful for those who refrain from finding fault, meddling and engaging in remarks that are degrading.  

     I have been blessed to know quite a few people who seem to live by the counsel expressed in my friend's Facebook post--including the friend who posted it.  She, in fact, has always been a stellar example of speaking and acting in kindness.  Her life has been one of service, and of hardship.  If anyone had a reason to be edgy and critical, it would probably be her.   But she isn't, and prefers, instead, to look outward, blessing the lives of others and encouraging thoughtful, uplifting speech and involvement in causes that bless the lives of others.

     In the Old Testament we read, "my speech shall distil as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, as the showers upon the grass"  (Deut. 32:2).   Think about those words for a moment.  Oh, that our speech would be so gentle and nourishing, so life giving.

    

     The gift of being able to speak is so precious, and it can lead to a more abundant and fulfilling life or it can cut and injure, and lead to heartache, depression and emotional death.  

    Use the gift of speech wisely.  Let your speech be an expression of appreciation for the many blessings in your life.  Let it lead to life and happiness for others.  In short, let your speech speak well of you!

TODAY'S INSPIRED QUOTATION: Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is. Publilius Syrus (Roman writer and poet.)

Your Sphere of Influence

     My nephew sent me a quotation that I felt would be fun and inspiring to share:  

"Life is not about the shoes you fill, it's about the lives that you change through the footsteps you take." Kelly K. Owens

     At times each of us will wonder if anything we do really makes a difference. We'll ask ourselves if anything we've said or done has given real encouragement, changed a life, relieved a heartache, lifted someone's spirit and helped them along.  I've found, through the feedback I've received in my life, that it's not the big things I've done that seem to have had an impact.  It's the little things.  As Kelly Owens quotation indicates, the individual footsteps.  And footsteps, of necessity, are small.  Our legs, after all, are only so long--and some of us have shorter legs than others.  However, be they the legs of a diplomat or a domestic, they still carry us along, getting us where we need to go--or into the muck of discouragement.

     I could say, "I'm only a mother," or "I'm only a wife, or a sister, or a daughter."  The important thing is not who I am in relationship to someone else, or even what I do to earn my daily bread.  The important thing is the how of  it.  How do I go about my roles in life?  I may not have a lot to say about the who of it.  My birth determined that I would be a daughter and a sister.  However, the kind of daughter I am, the kind of sister I choose to be is determined by me.  True also the kind of wife, mother, worker and friend.  What small steps am I taking, each day, to insure that those actions are an influence for good, taking me where I want to go?

     Dr. Wayne Dyer has said, "Concentrate on your sphere of influence, not your sphere of concern."  As I've pondered and tried to live his wise counsel, I've noticed a couple of important changes have occurred in my life:   

     I tend to leave my concerns to God.  I do this as I acknowledge that some things are just beyond my ability to fix.  I ask Him for guidance in my life, that He will lead me to answers or to acceptance of what, in His wisdom, is not supposed to be changed, at least not yet.  Maybe there is something I or someone else needs to learn.

    I also find that I simply go about each day trying to do the unspectacular things that will make the world a little brighter place.  As I've greeted life with a more grateful spirit, and a more positive disposition, I know I've been a happier person.  I believe that others around me have also been happier and more relaxed.  They've also expressed gratitude.

     One of my great delights has been to write this blog.  I have had nearly 1200 visits to date, and many very kind comments concerning the blog's content.  Knowing that I have helped to brighten someone's day, shared a thought that changed someone's perspective, reminded someone of a blessing, has been such a joy for me.  It has truly increased my happiness.  As I have taken the small footsteps to concentrate on this little sphere of influence, I have been blessed.

     So it can be for each of us.  The footsteps we take can be as simple as bringing a meal to someone recovering from an illness; sending a card; expressing our appreciation for a comment made in a meeting; offering a ride to someone who is going our way; patiently waiting on a loved one; leaving a note of kindness and gratitude on someone's pillow; doing the job that no one else wants to do.  There are a thousand ways to direct our footsteps in a path that will broaden our sphere of influence and encourage others to greater happiness and gratitude.  

     So, my encouragement is, don't be so concerned about your concerns--leave them to God, trusting He will give you guidance or send the help you need.  Simply be your best self, relax a little more with life.  Smile a little more with friends.  Trust a little more in God.  Know that the good you give out will not only be a positive influence in the lives of others, it will also make your life more happy and fulfilled.

TODAY'S  AWESOME  BLESSING:  My Grandchildren Were Over For Lunch Yesterday.  It Was Fun to Play Peek-a-Boo With My Grandson And Remember When My Own Children Were That Small.  What a Wonderful Season of Life That Was, And What a Wonderful Season of Life This Is.  And Who Can Count a Grandma's Influence?  There Are Simply No Times in Our Lives When We Cannot Be a Blessing to Our Family and Friends!

Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

     There is a hymn with the words, "Each life that touches ours for good, reflects thine own great mercy, Lord."  Sometimes, we are blessed to know someone whose life seems to be nothing but goodness, kindness, and concern for others.  

     Recently a friend, whom I've known for years, passed away.  He had lived a very good life of service and kindness.  He was especially kind to my family when I was a young child, and I always looked up to him as a sort of father figure, since my own father had died when I was eleven months old.  His name was Ray, and as I mentally scroll back over the years of our friendship, I can't say I ever remember anything negative about this good soul.  He was ever ready to lend a listening ear, give sound counsel and encouragement, and tell a funny joke or two.

     I believe it is rare to know someone who is so very good.  Most of us are so filled with flaws they sneak out when we'd rather they didn't, and reveal our most embarrassing weaknesses.  Most of us disappoint others, let them down, fail to live up to our end of some bargain.  I suppose that Ray may have had a fault or two; perhaps he also disappointed others at times in his life.  As for me, I can look back on my association with him as a clean slate, devoid of any errant markings of hurt of any kind.  

     I feel that in Ray I was blessed with a friend who was an example of what friendship and service is, at its best.  Because of him I can believe that there are incredibly good people who walk this earth and touch others in numerous, wonderful--even blessed--ways.  

     What an incredible gift that is!  Oh, that we would all have the blessing of a Ray in our lives.  It would make us try a little harder, serve a little more often, listen a little more patiently, love a little more deeply.  

     Thank you Ray, for your lasting impression on my heart.  It was a taste of heaven; a reason to believe in the goodness and mercy of God, and the goodness that is possible in all of us!

TODAY'S  GENTLE  ENCOURAGEMENT:  Think of all your friends and loved ones.  Is there a Ray in your life?  If yes, allow your heart to rejoice in gratitude that you know such a soul.   If not, become that kind of person to others.  They will bless you for it all the days of your life, and into eternity.